Advice, Anyone?

I think I am about to lose my girly brain. My instincts to read, visit, clean house, cook, and beautify oneself are not very useful when I am trying to entertain two VERY ACTIVE young boys. Right now I can see James digging through his second-favorite cabinet in the kitchen, pulling out various jars and bottles and trying to find a lid that fits them. James is sixteen months old. Andrew, who is three, is thinking about joining him but seems content to wander around the house looking for something more interesting to do. If he does end up joining him there will be a great mess to clean but they will have been entertained for a short while.
My problem is that I haven't figured out what to do that will wear these two boys out while still leaving me some energy to keep up with them the rest of the day. (James just opened his favorite cabinet in the kitchen. You know, the one with all the cleaning supplies and scrubbing brushes.) If I take them to the front yard I have to continually play keeper between them and the road (mainly James) and what's the fun of playing outside if you can't play in the dirt? Well, that was fine until yesterday when James found the ants that live in the dirt. Did I mention the dirt they like to play in is the flowerbed? The back yard is out of the picture until the mosquitos all die. I don't particularly enjoy seeing my kids the feast for such insects prone to transmitting diseases and there's no way I can spray every inch of their little tender flesh. The park is another option, and they enjoy that if there are other kids there, but it isn't very practical for me to go to the park every day.
And then there's the blood factor. The only time I remember really seeing blood growing up was once when my younger sister Anna hit her forehead on the corner of a chair. But these guys! Andrew got his toenail ripped up at church a few weeks ago. Yes, ripped completely off by a door. And not the little one, either. And then we dealt with the next week or so when his toe was very tender and seemed to get injured several times a day. James' problem is his chicklet-like front teeth. It seems like every time he falls he has a bloody lip. Yesterday when Andrew and James were supposed to be playing in their rooms I heard a crash, thud, and then the usual follow-up to those two noises, crying. "I'm hurt" cries that pierce the heart of mothers everywhere. This time James had bitten his lip all the way through. There were two small dashes of blood under his bottom lip. But it wasn't over! For the rest of the afternoon it seemed like he wanted to make it bleed again. He just walked into my bedpost as I was watching, and he bled again. What is going on here? As if that wasn't enough, He and Andrew were playing in my room, James was behind a chair, Andrew on the chair, Andrew decides to drop a metal truck on James head. Please, take me away.
This morning I decided to make a return visit to story-time at our local library. We went two years ago and I wasn't sure who ran more, Andrew or Amy. So I waited to go back until James was the same age that Andrew was last time. But I know I ran more today because I was chasing two instead of one. The library is for running laps and pulling books off the shelves, right? And when my mommy says I can't do that I can throw a fit, kick, scream and try to pinch her? And who is going to openly discipline their one-year-old during story-time?
Ok, so, if anyone wants to make me feel better, please, go ahead. I will take platitudes, cliches, pat sayings, anything. (: